Crazy Mom’s Guide to Adulting with Joy
Peaceful House…Was I Dreaming?
I’m a MUCH better Morning Mom than Night Mom.
This morning, Princess Milkface was ready for school and happily eating breakfast watching a little Disney Jr. when I came downstairs (thank you Captain Starburst for helping her get ready!). I grabbed our stuff, actually remembered to get my work laptop, and told her it was time to head out the car. She turned off the TV and walked out to the car. I was intentional with recognizing the good behavior and thanked her for doing such a great job with listening and following directions, so she gets good attention when she keeps with the program.
We were driving through our neighborhood when I saw some scenic fog hovering over a lake. I mentioned how pretty it looked, but Princess Milkface said she didn’t see it. I made a U-turn and drove back to it, so we could share that moment together before the craziness of the day began.
On our way to school, I let her choose between working on her sight words or her memory verse, and she chose memory verse without incident and made some good progress.
After I dropped Princess Milkface off, I chuckled to myself about what an idyllic morning we had. It felt like there should be birds singing and Disney princess music playing in the background of our peaceful, wonderful life!
Feeling Overwhelmed with All The Things
Contrast this lovely scene with last night….
Princess Milkface whining and intentionally falling off the chair while I’m forcing her to practice sight words.
Snapping at my mom when she calls to tell me she needs me to pick up an antibiotic and deliver it to her as soon as possible. My behavior led to her response that she should have just stayed where she was happily living before since I’m so inconvenienced by her.
More whining over sight words (this time the whining might have come from both of us)
Reaching a point of stress and feeling ready to boil over, I decided it was in everyone’s best interest for me to tap out. So, I told Honyay I was leaving to deal with my mom and her prescription and left him with the sight word book, a miserable Princess Milkface, and dirty dishes all over the counter.
Oh…and it was our 7th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Honyay.
I read The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business last year, and one point that resonated with me was the concept of willpower resembling a muscle. Just like your legs or arms, as it gets worked more and more, it gets tired, leaving less power for the next task.
This concept crossed my mind as I collapsed into the car for my great escape to Walgreens last night. And truthfully, it crossed my mind as an excuse, leading to a hopeless plea.
“With all of my stress at work, AND with the kids, AND with my mom, how can I ever still have anything left to be a decent human being, much less a loving wife? No wonder I feel so angry all the time. My will power is completely used up within 5 minutes of walking in the door at night!” (apparently, I still had some good whining left in me after my earlier fun with sight words).
One Source of Peace and Joy
I continued to wallow in my pity party for a few more minutes until I ran out of material and lost interest. After getting that mental rant out, I felt empty, but much more calm. Then I heard that still, small voice of truth.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Right. But God, I just don’t know how to hand all of this over to you. I don’t know how to not white knuckle through my days trying to control and manage everything. I start with the best of intentions but always feel like I’m just surviving.
“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”
Matthew 19:26
This whole adulting thing is just hard. Work is hard. Juggling the balance of a 5-year-old, a 17-year-old, and an 82-year-old mom who’s on her own is hard. Beating myself up over not being a better wife to my mostly patient husband is hard.
But, there is more to this life than the grind. There is joy to be found in the little moments when I choose to see them. And there is so much more than this life alone to be the source of our joy.
Lord, you have been so faithful to me. Help me be as good…No Lord, help me be even better at being a night mom with your power and strength in me than I am at being a morning mom under my own strength. Please help me to find my rest and purpose in you alone. Help me to keep my focus on you when there is so much in this world that can distract and upset me. Because you alone are the source of perfect peace and joy.
